god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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