You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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