i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Randomize
