Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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