There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Randomize
