Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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