its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
My liver just had a heart attack.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
