Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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