it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
