dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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