so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
