Texts From Last Night

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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.

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  (678): Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house. http://tfl.nu/flvn
  Replies (7) Good night (3275) Bad night (639)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more

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  (814): To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more http://tfl.nu/cvqr
  Replies (5) Good night (3195) Bad night (683)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants

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  (815): the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants http://tfl.nu/kron
  Replies (6) Good night (4312) Bad night (911)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.

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  (224): States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby. http://tfl.nu/to2g
  Replies (49) Good night (4203) Bad night (1304)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?

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  (816): She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit? http://tfl.nu/kt2r
  Replies (24) Good night (7376) Bad night (987)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt

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  (814): I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt http://tfl.nu/8loq
  Replies (8) Good night (618) Bad night (2220)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.

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  (231): Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs. http://tfl.nu/oqp6
  Replies (6) Good night (1087) Bad night (1092)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club

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  (206): The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club http://tfl.nu/n7qr
  Replies (6) Good night (783) Bad night (709)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?

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  (248): spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years? http://tfl.nu/coam
  Replies (3) Good night (1382) Bad night (386)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating

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  (216): I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating http://tfl.nu/1tih
  Replies (3) Good night (1057) Bad night (281)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.

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  (706): I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos. http://tfl.nu/xv9s
  Replies (9) Good night (842) Bad night (362)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship

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  (403): She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship http://tfl.nu/44te
  Replies (6) Good night (1479) Bad night (246)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.

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  (309): Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements. http://tfl.nu/4ok2
  Replies (2) Good night (494) Bad night (280)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk

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  (412): You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk http://tfl.nu/zmxc
  Replies (1) Good night (518) Bad night (219)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.

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  (513): If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can. http://tfl.nu/a0mj
  Replies (2) Good night (447) Bad night (206)

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