Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
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He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
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There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life