This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce