i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.