Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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