this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
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All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
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I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.