i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
