I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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