I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
