I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Randomize
