You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Randomize
