why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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