Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize
