I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
