and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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