Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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