I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
