it's too hot outside to masturbate.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
How naked do you want me to be?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
