i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.