is your mom at the bar?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
