We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
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Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
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I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext