If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i think i scared a bird with my dick
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.