going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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