maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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