Just fell off a train. Bad.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My feet surprised me
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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