I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
