We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
