Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
