Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
