What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
