i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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