I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
