how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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