im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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