All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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