i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
