i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
only if we run a train.
done.
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I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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