im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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