It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Non-Jews are for practice
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize