He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
she told me i tasted like america
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Randomize
