Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
