One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Randomize
