i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
is it fun? or sober?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
