i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
People in love make me want to vomit
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
