Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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