How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
