Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
