goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
