girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
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once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
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Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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