we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
