Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
