there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
