I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
