It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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