Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I AM VODKA MAN
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
