I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
