I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
