reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.