Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(305): View more from Florida

Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever

(615): View more from Tennessee

She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister

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(305): Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever (615): She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister http://tfl.nu/5zux

Replies (88) Good night (7956) Bad night (1564)
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(626): View more from California

i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.

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(626): i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner. http://tfl.nu/vo3h

Replies (32) Good night (3665) Bad night (1019)
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(850): View more from Florida

One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey

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(850): One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey http://tfl.nu/owfj

Replies (45) Good night (748) Bad night (2641)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA

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(250): I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA http://tfl.nu/zqva

Replies (38) Good night (6333) Bad night (848)
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(707): View more from California

I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on

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(707): I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on http://tfl.nu/0k8v

Replies (26) Good night (3145) Bad night (1207)
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(325): View more from Texas

The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am

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(325): The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am http://tfl.nu/kqzx

Replies (11) Good night (1264) Bad night (3091)
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(406): View more from Montana

I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.

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(406): I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation. http://tfl.nu/zwu5

Replies (7) Good night (638) Bad night (1535)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister

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(615): you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister http://tfl.nu/7nfq

Replies (11) Good night (2156) Bad night (729)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES

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(604): We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES http://tfl.nu/h0lt

Replies (1) Good night (1370) Bad night (500)
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(512): View more from Texas

Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.

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(512): Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely. http://tfl.nu/gnvv

Replies (4) Good night (1105) Bad night (566)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?

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(774): What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird? http://tfl.nu/2yid

Replies (9) Good night (441) Bad night (1476)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine

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(720): Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine http://tfl.nu/xw9t

Replies (1) Good night (715) Bad night (335)
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(417): View more from Missouri

I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player

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(417): I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player http://tfl.nu/158m

Replies (3) Good night (602) Bad night (469)
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(607): View more from New York

Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?

(1-607): View more from New York

I think so and I think we were sober.

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(607): Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream? (1-607): I think so and I think we were sober. http://tfl.nu/6esa

Replies (2) Good night (811) Bad night (392)
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(310): View more from California

You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.

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(310): You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar. http://tfl.nu/4wxt

Replies (4) Good night (1155) Bad night (653)

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