it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
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Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
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I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.