this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.