Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!

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  (248): Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy! http://tfl.nu/x7i6
  Replies (4) Good night (1991) Bad night (1121)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it

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  (443): you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it http://tfl.nu/4e12
  Replies (9) Good night (1114) Bad night (4114)
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  (516): View more from New York

  The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.

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  (516): The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving. http://tfl.nu/b59v
  Replies (36) Good night (5893) Bad night (1467)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.

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  (214): That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed. http://tfl.nu/6ncx
  Replies (5) Good night (4450) Bad night (834)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood

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  (440): Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood http://tfl.nu/t6a5
  Replies (13) Good night (1052) Bad night (3751)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks

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  (804): i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks http://tfl.nu/m5sm
  Replies (24) Good night (769) Bad night (7371)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that

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  (225): I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that http://tfl.nu/lb4l
  Replies (13) Good night (2535) Bad night (935)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.

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  (360): Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people. http://tfl.nu/w1ks
  Replies (33) Good night (2982) Bad night (899)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.

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  (719): I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster. http://tfl.nu/ckt2
  Replies (8) Good night (1650) Bad night (464)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game

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  (718): We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game http://tfl.nu/kk4m
  Replies (3) Good night (446) Bad night (193)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.

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  (505): I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single. http://tfl.nu/1f65
  Replies (10) Good night (1376) Bad night (355)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence

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  (240): Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence http://tfl.nu/zd2a
  Replies (0) Good night (369) Bad night (240)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"

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  (858): I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well" http://tfl.nu/9o99
  Replies (1) Good night (527) Bad night (179)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.

  (1-937): View more from Ohio

  These kind of text worry me.

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  (937): With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong. (1-937): These kind of text worry me. http://tfl.nu/ehdu
  Replies (2) Good night (306) Bad night (216)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.

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  (317): it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor. http://tfl.nu/dyyo
  Replies (2) Good night (613) Bad night (186)

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