Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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