Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(317): View more from Indiana

it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely

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(804): View more from Virginia

I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.

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(806): View more from Texas

and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...

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(716): View more from New York

Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(203): View more from Connecticut

Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.

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(254): View more from Texas

I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30

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(503): View more from Oregon

I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.

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