I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
she woke up with a sticky ear
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
