That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even my farts smell like vagina
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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