I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
