So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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