at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
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I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
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Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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