You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
