Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
When are your genitals available?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
