using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
