You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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