Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
